


sleeping habits and other things she could've known earlier

by revoleotion



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Thrawn Ascendancy Trilogy - Timothy Zahn
Genre: Ar'alani is Ziara, Fluff, Friendship, autistic Thrawn, based on that sleepover scene that was implied, chaos rising era, implied thranto, no chaos rising spoilers, so i wrote it myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26412724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion
Summary: Ziara invited Thrawn to her home to have a very awkward sleepover but we never got to read it. Naturally, I had to do it.This might be the most fluffy thing I've written so far, I love their dynamic.(No chaos rising spoilers but you're probably going to be confused as to why they have a sleepover if you didn't read the book)
Relationships: Ar'alani & Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	sleeping habits and other things she could've known earlier

She had never seen Thrawn sleeping. The thought surprised Ziara with no warning, and when she had finished thinking it, she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror and blinked a few times to regain her calm posture. This was not going to be a problem, of course. Not if she could avoid it. Despite everyone wanting to believe it, Thrawn wasn’t a robot. (In fact, making that comparison was incredibly hurtful and whenever Ziara caught herself doing it, she wanted to punch herself in the face.)

But still, the thought of him having to sleep was odd to her. She didn’t know why, after all, sleeping was a very normal thing to do. Something about Thrawn in something other than a uniform of sorts, the thought of him relaxing felt sacred, like Ziara wasn’t ever supposed to catch a glimpse of who he truly was. Ziara had seen more of the real him than anyone else, she reminded herself. She loved him, the way you love a younger brother. She also wanted to strangle him half the time. 

Not to mention that his visit wasn’t a date, or even a brother-sister-relationship bonding exercise. There was one reason she had brought him to the Irizi homestead, and it was spite. Chances were that Thrawn didn’t want to be here. 

He had liked the art. She had seen it in his face, the way his eyes lit up a little and he had kneaded his fingers, the way he had muttered to himself, his brain spilling, overflowing with new conclusions. Ziara had allowed him to talk about it, and she had sat through two hours of excessive infodumping, two hours that left her brain hurting with the amount of new information but Thrawn seemed calmer now. He deserved it, Ziara had thought to herself when she saw him in the dimmed lights of the private gallery. Thrawn was happiest with his art, with his analysis, with his tactics and his history knowledge. Seeing him indulging in his interest made her fully realize that nobody ever fully understood him. Not even Ziara did. She did her best to help, to make others treat him fairly, to keep them both from drowning in a world that just didn’t seem to be made for Thrawn. 

But she didn’t  _ understand  _ him. 

She’d never grasp how his brain worked, she’d never be able to follow every train of thought he had. Sometimes they’d arrive at the same conclusion but never took the same route to get there. It was okay, Ziara thought, as long as he didn’t feel lonely. 

She had the feeling that he did. And he didn’t seem to mind. Perhaps the art was a substitute for friends Thrawn never wanted to have or dare to ask for. Ziara was very sure that she was his only friend and she felt like she didn’t truly count. (Some time in the future she will look at the human Thrawn will send her and she will smile a little because he’s not like Thrawn but so, so close.)

“Do you need anything else?” Ziara asked when she finally convinced herself to leave the bathroom. Her family allowed Thrawn to stay under the condition that he slept in a different room. Ziara was so mad that she had almost snapped that Thrawn was not the kind of person her family should be worried about but this was a conversation for later. Way later. She’d prefer to never have that conversation, anyway. 

“No, thank you,” his voice said. He sounded calm, a lot calmer than she felt, which was odd because he was the one who had gotten punished, not her. Maybe Ziara’s ability to understand politics was a curse in this situation. Thrawn’s inability to see how social aspects worked very well in his favor right now. 

“Can I come in?” Ziara asked. 

“Your family asked for us to sleep in separate rooms.”

“I wasn’t going to sleep yet,” Ziara said. She noticed the smile in her voice too late but to her surprise he opened the door for her. 

The room hadn’t been used in ages, and it definitely looked and smelled the part. Ziara made a few steps in and looked over to the bed, the only part of the room that Thrawn had dared to touch. His uniform was folded neatly and stored in the nightstand shelf; he had turned on the light and had probably read until now because his questis had been tossed onto the bed. 

“I assume you want to talk?” he asked. Gently, Ziara noticed, there was something to his voice that she wasn’t used to. 

“I don’t want to sleep yet,” she admitted. “We don’t have to talk.”

“I suppose I owe you for this afternoon.”

“I didn’t tell you because I expected you to do something for me in return,” she reminded him. 

Thrawn raised an eyebrow and walked back to the bed, carefully picking up the questis and putting it next to his uniform. 

“People usually do that,” he said. 

“Well, please don’t assume I’m like everyone else,” Ziara said. 

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said, a little awkwardly. 

“You didn’t.”

A pause. Their daytime conversations rarely were this awkward. Ziara made a step towards the bed and smiled when Thrawn moved to the side to make room for her. They sat in silence for a while, him almost pressed against the wall in an effort not to touch her. 

“Either way,” Ziara started, “You already returned the favor when you didn’t make a scene at dinner.”

“Ah.” He smiled. “You mean when your family suggested that the two of us might try something when we’re alone.”

“And when you finished your plate,” Ziara reminded him. “That was brave.”

“It wasn’t bad, it was-”

“The texture. I understand.”

What a cruel thing to say to him. Thrawn didn’t drop the smile but he tilted his head a little. Not confused, intrigued. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

They stayed like this for quite some time. After a few minutes he leaned over to the nightstand to grab his questis, and after Ziara nodded, he continued reading. She didn’t mind. It was nice to see him doing the research, she was used to just getting the conclusions, never the pathway to them. She focused on his calm breaths, the way his eyes lit up when he found a new piece of information, then she moved her eyes away from him and looked down on her lap. Best not to spy for too long. She didn’t want to ruin this. 

He fell asleep about half an hour in. She didn’t notice at first, only when his fingers relaxed and the questis fell into his lap, she flinched and looked over to him again. Thrawn looked younger in his sleep, like almost everyone did. His back was leaned against the wall, his head tipped back. It didn’t look too comfortable, so he had to be pretty exhausted to just allow himself to fall asleep like this. 

Ziara hadn’t been sure if he trusted her, at least not up until this point. Now she knew. The feeling was a hot rush in her chest, almost painful. She watched him for a few more seconds, then she suddenly felt inappropriate, like she was spying on something that never should’ve been visible. 

She picked up the questis and put it back, then she stood up and grabbed the blanket that was still folded at the foot of the bed. Thrawn didn’t stir when she draped the blanket over him, he also didn’t move when she turned off the light. 

Only when she did her best to walk to the door without making the floor creak, she heard a quiet voice, “Why is it dark in here?”

She tensed against her will, although she’d recognize his voice everywhere. Ziara turned around, slowly, to find Thrawn frowning down on the blanket and then looking up to her, his red eyes glowing with confusion.

“Sleep,” she told him. “You seem to need it.”

His fingers felt for his questis on the nightstand, and he relaxed visibly when he found it. 

“Thank you,” Thrawn said. 

“Don’t thank me. Go back to sleep,” Ziara ordered him. 

He considered it, then nodded and pulled the blanket up to his neck. She watched him until he seemed comfortable enough, then she walked to the door. 

“Sleep well,” his voice called. Gentle. Ziara wasn’t sure if anyone deserved this kind of tenderness from him. 

(But later she will meet a human that makes her think that maybe he does.)


End file.
